Urban Dictionary: Walk of Shame


leaving the last afterhours when the sun’s been up for hours, and all the “regular” people are out and about doing whatever it is that they do all day, and you’ve been up all night partying, in the same sweaty club clothes for HOURS, and you have to squint cuz its so frickin BRIGHT outside and who knows where your sunglasses are, and everyone’s STARING at you cuz they can tell you’re still probably really a liiiiiittle too fucked up to be seen outside in the daytime just yet, so you’re not making eye contact with ANYONE, and you just wanna be HOME with the blinds closed but its soooooooo… farrrrrrrrr… awayyyyyy and there’s no cabs and everyone’s still staring at you and you can smell yourself and DAMN you STINK and what the hell were you thinkin anyway you shoulda left a long time ago under cover of the darkness of the night, or at least before the damn sun came up, instead of waiting til all the drugs ran out and it became obvious that no one had any more, or if they did they weren’t gonna share ’em with YOU.

Best when performed in an outfit consisting of black pants with the word “FUCK” written ALL OVER THEM, a cheap-looking white fake fur coat, purple aviator club glasses and the smudgey remains of fuschia lipstick, and accompanied by a very tall gay man dressed in black leather pants, a black sleeveless shirt, Dior “badass” sunglasses, smeary black eyeliner and streaky bronzer residue.

I wish a cab would come already so we don’t have to do the walk of shame past the church, the police station, McDonalds, Starbucks, Borders, and the gym! Ooh, wait, Starbucks… caramel macchiato, anyone?

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